24
May
10

I Know Someone That…

I really should be doing my homework now, but it’s raining outside. And it’s beautiful. No, it’s FABULOUS.

Actually, when you’re not worrying that someone is waiting to slit your throat sins in the category of flagrant nonconformism and spread of anarchist ideals, lots of things in this mucked up world are fabulous.

Like rain. Rain is fabulous. It turns things that are apparently two-dimensional into REAL THINGS.

Like TREES. TREES ARE SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL IN THE RAIN. I want to go hug a tree. NOW.  I mean they look so GREEN, and TOTALLY MADE OF AWESOME AND PURE PURE WIN.

And anger.  Imagine someone running toward you weapon of your choice, on a hot sunny day. Let’s say it’s a chainsaw, for the sake of imagery.

And now imagine someone running towards you , chainsaw in hand,  and it’s raining. It’s raining really hard, and your assassin is beady eyed, and frustrated, and all of that pent up anger is so visible. That’s how I want to go, really. What’s the point of dying when you’re not being the snake to the mongoose, eh?

Think about it.

The point is, yesterday all my seniors got their results for their ICSEs. Which is extremely harrowing to think about, coz, dudes, that’s me in a year.  Let me be honest,  I don ‘t like, and don’t have an affinity towards double digit numbers that  exceed 80.

I think I know (actually, everyone knows) that I should get my ass in line, but it’s SO MUCH FUN GETTING AWAY WITH IT. Every single time I don’t do my homework,  I feel bad, yes, but I also feel INVIGORATED, man.  It’s like love, but naughtier.

And on the topic of love, my old crushes are catching up with me. And. It’s. Painful. They’re coming back in the form of friends, accomplices in delinquent crime, and parasites who can’t get their OWN arses in line without me.  I seem to incapable of having I-hate-your-guts-and-you-hate-mine-so-shove-it relationships with guys whom I’ve been interested in.

Also, my only solution at this point is to

  1. Get homeschooled.
  2. Hire all my friends strippers who’ll do their homework for them and dismember them using a chainsaw if they step out of line.
  3. And buy a raft. For fun.

That’s my romping ravaging rant for the day bee tee double yooh. I should do this more often. It’s enjoyableish.

P.S.

1. Everyone check out SixBillionSecrets.com It is. the shit.

2. My post titles, for those of you wondering, are generated from the top twitter trends of the day. Till that thing in my brain starts working.

11
Apr
10

What does THIS button do?

Ohai there, shiny computer screen. ABSORB ME. 

*whoosh*

My life is so badly starting to resemble a badly written fanfiction that I don’t even know.  This shit is peerrfect soap-opera material. Just the right ingredients that could even get Ekta Kapoor flustered. Everything just keeps going on and on around me, and I sit in my Grandma’s Corner, with a kitty on my lap, and observe it all as I knit a cozy sweater for YOU. Later , after it all ends, I write it down in my Blog Of Doom, for the world to read. Srsly.

“Once upon a time, children,” I’ll type, ” I used to know a bunch of buggers and sodomites, who weren’t worth my time.”.

And then the children will comment(coz the Interwebz is kewl like that), that a bugger and a sodomite is basically the same thing. 

All of this when I’m not being Super Politician Lawyer Harry Potter Fan Woman. I have a cape. And a disguise. I would show you, but it’s a top secret of the Government of AwesomeLand, a small impoverished island country inhabited by heathens. Which means it’s quite probably already on Wiki Leaks. 

The moral of the story is that the sweater that I just knitted(knitted? knat?) you is made of Super Fabric of Doom. And mmyea, you’re headed towards a slow, excruciatingly painful, and if I’m around, videotaped demise. Have fun. Try to have music from Nosferatu playing in the background. It helps. Also, arrange carved pumpkins around you in a circle. Just like Halloween, but with creepy eyeballs that just. keep. staring. Yes, at YOU.

No, my mind is not disturbed at ALL. 

*bows*

*curtain falls*

*piercing shriek*

*lightning*

*thunder. BADABOOM*

okbye.

11
Feb
10

Bahahaha XD.

I just had to post this.  It’s priceless. I could have linked it on twitter or something, but I want something this cool on my blog.

11
Feb
10

Shove Gratitude up your arse.

You know what? I just don’t get it. 

How can life be arsed to mindfuck me completely for 14 entire years. wtm, anyone? 

Like my friend Sashini The Cookie Chomper likes to say-“Fukitol”.

But honestly, while I was thinking how this world is full of fake wannabe (excuse my lack of imagination)  losers, I thought of this.

WHAT ABOUT THOSE AWESOME PEOPLE WHO JUST ARE AWESOME . LIKE, BY BIRTH OR SOME RADIOACTIVE PHENOMENA?

So I made a list YAY.

1. The Cookie Chomper. The Cookie Chomper is my Valentine(whom I need to get flowers sent to before I forget, damn it), much to the chagrin of the male population of this little trashy city that we fabulous ladies have the misfortune to live in.  This girl has the entire world on a leash.

But the bitch doesn’t realize it.

Instead she spends waayy too much time crying over The Testicle-less Loser Ritchbitch and all sorts of other guys who, get this, DON’T DESERVE HER FREAKING AWESOMENESS. Hell, yes. 

But she is entirely her own person and made of win like no other. w0w, right? Thank the heavens for introducing me to this awesome chica. 

AND DID I MENTION FAILDUCKEH ZOMG?

————————————————————————————————————————–

2.The Warder of Evil/Anonymouse Like all the other truly amazing people I’ve met in my life , IT WAS A FREAKING COINCIDENCE. 

Like OMG. I’ve known her since 3rd grade.  We played old grandmums in our 3rd grade play together (Yes, I still have those pictures. BAHAHA XD). It was hilarious.

And then she left school, and we both grew up to be bitter cynical geeky teenagers in the midst of the preppy, ever-loving irritants that surround us. And instant attraction ensued. YAY.

And she will never ever let me forget the accidental, almost drunk ” His body heat’ll keep meh warm” statement that I made. I MEANT RADIATION, GOD DAMN IT.

————————————————————————————————————————–

3. The Tall Psycho Duckeh-

He is so crazy and dysfuntional and a pansy wanking despo sap. 

But I still tolerate  love him to pieces.

Now if only he would stop stalking that poor girl, the creepy stalker luzr.

And the body heat thing. He won’t let me forget it. 

Even today morning..

Me: Bah, it’s cold.

Him: It’s okai, my BODY HEAT will keep you warm.

AGDsiynwbd fvnrefcgn94 t0ejvf9d0 ik.

————————————————————————————————————————–So for every 5 people I truly despise there’s one person whom I love? Is that it?

That’s not much. But these luzrs are kinda special. SO YEAH.

<love, kisses and a swift kick up the arse>

Anjani.

31
Jan
10

Magister Mundi sum!

 

Bahahahaha. 

It’s 3pm on Sunday, and I have so much work, it is almost funneh.

So, instead of being the responsible person who does her work on time just like her mum wants her to, 

I bow down to you, oh Interwebz. 

I’ve spent the last hour (during which I should have been doing my homework) not doing my homework and looking up Latin phrases to throw at my Econ teacher(whilst not doing my homework) during, you know, casual conversation which I imagine will go like this:

Econ teacher: ” The forces of demand and supply are interrelate..”

Me:Vescere bracis meis.

(Eat mai shorts)

Econ teacher: :S

Me:Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant! 

(May barbarians invade your personal space)

Econ teacher: The insolenz

Me:Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure. 

(I can’t hear you. I have a banana in my ear.)

AND SO ON.

ehehehe.

I be funny.

And that was absolutely random and pointless and I’m going to go try to actually stick some assorted fruits in my ear now.0_o

Bye.




Stalk meh.

Chronology, my foot.

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